Sisters First by Jenna Bush Hager and Barbara Pierce Bush

Aww, what a sweet story of these two women growing up together and staying connected through everything.

This is another book I got from the used bookstore in Canton, NC- Blue Moon Books. I have been in a moment of easy reading and I would say this was the perfect transition book, dealing with real people and their real experiences, but not a heavy thinking and processing book.

The Bush twins are not anyone I really know about or have had an interest in their lives. I was drawn to the cover and figured this would be a fun read to learn about them as individuals, twins, daughters and granddaughters of Presidents, and their adult endeavors. I was right; it was fun to read about their lives from their own perspectives and to see how intertwined not only they are, but the whole (extended) family, in one another’s lives.

Sometimes it gets weird for the reader when a book has two authors, but I will say it flowed better because the girls shared about the same experiences and ultimately, their lives are connected in a way most co-authors’ aren’t.

If anyone remembers my least favorite thing about memoirs it is the awkward chunk of photographs slapped arbitrarily in the middle of the book. And this book also delivers this annoyance. I enjoy photos, but I get frustrated by the placement. I like to see the pictures as I read along so I have to try to find the right pictures without spoiling anything for myself.

The writing style is very honest and relatable. The sisters do a great job of sharing important moments and their differing experiences in the same situations. Since I did not know much about the Bush family there were plenty of fun moments I experienced for the first time through this book. Let’s recap a few favorites.

Barbara as a child trying to order pizza for a party while her grandfather was President so the company hung up on her after she told them her name is Barbara Bush. And that would prove a pivotal lesson of giving a different name when needed! Did you know the twins are both named after their grandmothers? The idea of a bunch of Secret Service on a college campus (or two!) dressed in jeans with backpacks full of weapons trying not to be obvious as they follow the First Daughter around. Barbara spent a semester abroad in Italy in high school. The reality of Jenna’s husband picking her up at the White House for their first date. Just like that movie about dating the President’s daughter. (It’s the big white house- you can’t miss it.) Barbara started and runs a whole global charity. That’s phenomenal. Michelle Obama inviting Jenna to check out her old room the first time Jenna came back to the White House as a reporter during the Obama years. So many fun moments!

I would certainly recommend this book for anyone interested in memoirs, celebrity stories, political figures and familes.

Counting the Cost by Jill Duggar Dillard

Ah yes, another Duggar memoir. This one is sharing about the family and life growing up as a filming family.

It is very well written, respectfully recounting her experiences while calling out bad behavior and lies. There are so many crazy things within the Institute of Basic Life Principles (IBLP) that don’t add up and more things are revealed to the public as the Duggar children share their experiences with the world. One of the scariest things about IBLP is the limited control within the organization and at the family level. The Duggar children were taught that their family was different and to fear the outside world because no one else would understand them.

This is one of many points where we see a separation from the gospel. There are so many examples in Scripture of the necessity of community among believers and how that plays into our lives in the world. IBLP members separate themselves from other Christian groups and Jill shares how her family was part of a regular church before they decided to step into an IBLP church instead (after the church performed a dance at Christmas- Heaven forbid!); further isolating themselves from healthy Christianity. A key component to their faith is the branch of parental authority which they believe never ends, despite the clear direction of leaving and cleaving in the Bible. Understandably, this extended parental control often causes problems and can be a key component to the older Duggar children stepping out once married after struggling to reconcile having their own family amid the expectations to still act as a branch of their father’s will. This is also a main cause for staying in IBLP for so long as you grow up with such high expectations of your parents and believe they truly know everything and can do no wrong, and are only ever protecting you from the scary world outside your comfortable community.

It’s very interesting to learn about the structure and systems within IBLP and seeing the families affected by it. There are IBLP conferences which include a display of ‘model families’ that come on stage and perform a musical number (acapella of course- no devil instruments!) in their well groomed and perfectly matching, modest attire. This is one of the things that might sound okay initially- you have a set of guidelines for families and it makes sense to show and profile some families who display the desired qualities- until you remember that all these people are sinners saved by the grace of God and our only model is Christ alone. There are plenty of additional examples of something that sounds okay until you start to process it and remember the greater instruction of Scripture. As is the case for other cults, IBLP also has one main person dictating what is suitable for families, claiming this is from the Bible, but a little personal study time will render those expectations personal preference, not Biblical mandate. In the case of IBLP specifically, the one man dictating Godly living for families was an old single man who never married or had a family of his own. And if you know anything about my view of leadership, one main point for a good leader is to never ask of your followers anything that you would not do, have not done, or don’t know how to do yourself. Obviously Bob Gothard was all talk and no example in his demands for ‘model families’ which is a trigger for me.

Unfortunately, Jill experienced a myriad of additional difficulties growing up in relation to becoming a ‘filming family’ as her dad so proudly labeled them. Even though she was 12 when the first documentary filmed and 16 when the reality show officially started, Jill still grew up in the spotlight and remained part of the show for decades. Jill does a good job of illustrating the advantages of filming, such as buying extravagant groceries for a large family during filming weeks, building a new ‘Big House’ for the family, having the Network pay for and film her meeting her future husband in Nepal and beginning their relationship, hosting and airing their wedding. However, there are obvious dangers of growing up in the spotlight and the pressure a family feels to perform in a certain manner for the public expectations. In Jill’s mentions of filming it seems to be very motivated by money and casually referred to as ‘an opportunity from God’ to share how beneficial it is to have a large family. It is easy to see how this attitude and perception of filming as a ministry puts lots of pressure on the older kids to remain within IBLP and continue filming for the popular TV series.

Needless to say, IBLP is a chaotic and unhealthy cult that I hope the families involved are able to re-evaluate their involvement and seek Christ personally. It is very encouraging to read Jill’s story and hear how she met her missionary husband, they served overseas as a missionary family, and are seeking to live and raise their boys according to Scripture, not IBLP practices. My hopes for the Duggar family are the same as the Dillard’s. For them to evaluate their personal relationship with Christ as individuals and to reconcile over any differing opinions.