Ah yes, another Duggar memoir. This one is sharing about the family and life growing up as a filming family.
It is very well written, respectfully recounting her experiences while calling out bad behavior and lies. There are so many crazy things within the Institute of Basic Life Principles (IBLP) that don’t add up and more things are revealed to the public as the Duggar children share their experiences with the world. One of the scariest things about IBLP is the limited control within the organization and at the family level. The Duggar children were taught that their family was different and to fear the outside world because no one else would understand them.
This is one of many points where we see a separation from the gospel. There are so many examples in Scripture of the necessity of community among believers and how that plays into our lives in the world. IBLP members separate themselves from other Christian groups and Jill shares how her family was part of a regular church before they decided to step into an IBLP church instead (after the church performed a dance at Christmas- Heaven forbid!); further isolating themselves from healthy Christianity. A key component to their faith is the branch of parental authority which they believe never ends, despite the clear direction of leaving and cleaving in the Bible. Understandably, this extended parental control often causes problems and can be a key component to the older Duggar children stepping out once married after struggling to reconcile having their own family amid the expectations to still act as a branch of their father’s will. This is also a main cause for staying in IBLP for so long as you grow up with such high expectations of your parents and believe they truly know everything and can do no wrong, and are only ever protecting you from the scary world outside your comfortable community.
It’s very interesting to learn about the structure and systems within IBLP and seeing the families affected by it. There are IBLP conferences which include a display of ‘model families’ that come on stage and perform a musical number (acapella of course- no devil instruments!) in their well groomed and perfectly matching, modest attire. This is one of the things that might sound okay initially- you have a set of guidelines for families and it makes sense to show and profile some families who display the desired qualities- until you remember that all these people are sinners saved by the grace of God and our only model is Christ alone. There are plenty of additional examples of something that sounds okay until you start to process it and remember the greater instruction of Scripture. As is the case for other cults, IBLP also has one main person dictating what is suitable for families, claiming this is from the Bible, but a little personal study time will render those expectations personal preference, not Biblical mandate. In the case of IBLP specifically, the one man dictating Godly living for families was an old single man who never married or had a family of his own. And if you know anything about my view of leadership, one main point for a good leader is to never ask of your followers anything that you would not do, have not done, or don’t know how to do yourself. Obviously Bob Gothard was all talk and no example in his demands for ‘model families’ which is a trigger for me.
Unfortunately, Jill experienced a myriad of additional difficulties growing up in relation to becoming a ‘filming family’ as her dad so proudly labeled them. Even though she was 12 when the first documentary filmed and 16 when the reality show officially started, Jill still grew up in the spotlight and remained part of the show for decades. Jill does a good job of illustrating the advantages of filming, such as buying extravagant groceries for a large family during filming weeks, building a new ‘Big House’ for the family, having the Network pay for and film her meeting her future husband in Nepal and beginning their relationship, hosting and airing their wedding. However, there are obvious dangers of growing up in the spotlight and the pressure a family feels to perform in a certain manner for the public expectations. In Jill’s mentions of filming it seems to be very motivated by money and casually referred to as ‘an opportunity from God’ to share how beneficial it is to have a large family. It is easy to see how this attitude and perception of filming as a ministry puts lots of pressure on the older kids to remain within IBLP and continue filming for the popular TV series.
Needless to say, IBLP is a chaotic and unhealthy cult that I hope the families involved are able to re-evaluate their involvement and seek Christ personally. It is very encouraging to read Jill’s story and hear how she met her missionary husband, they served overseas as a missionary family, and are seeking to live and raise their boys according to Scripture, not IBLP practices. My hopes for the Duggar family are the same as the Dillard’s. For them to evaluate their personal relationship with Christ as individuals and to reconcile over any differing opinions.
Sonya was here 